


Bendy Kitten in Hell Once More

by Daegaer



Category: Bendy Kitten, Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Demons, Just Add Kittens, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-05-08
Updated: 2007-05-08
Packaged: 2020-04-24 03:24:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19164841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daegaer/pseuds/Daegaer





	Bendy Kitten in Hell Once More

"'Ere, Hastur," Ligur said. "It's that wotchamacallit fing back again." He hunkered down to peer at the small kitten wobbling around on the infernally grimy carpet.

mew, the kitten said, its round little eyes fixed firmly on Ligur's wings. It wobbled over to the tip and sat down on his flight feathers.

"It's on me wings, it's on me bleedin' wings, Hastur!" Ligur yelped, jumping upright.

mew, the kitten said reproachfully, rolling across the floor with a surprised expression on its little face.

"Wot _is_ the problem wiv you?" Hastur grumbled, taking his feet off Ligur's desk and clambering gracelessly from the chair. "It's only a kitten, anyone would fink yer a girl wot's seen a spider or sumfink."

"I wouldn't mind a _spider_ ," Ligur said, gesturing towards the shadowy veil of webs in the corner through which unseen and large things moved. "Spiders is all right. But _kittens_ \- they're all cute and innocent. S'unnatural, innit?"

Hastur sighed a blast of dolorous sulphur and picked the kitten up. "Unnatural," he muttered. "I'll give you 'unnatural'." The kitten wriggled in his grasp and purred. An odd feeling swept over him.

"No! S'doin' it again!" Ligur moaned, but it was too late.

 

*

 

Ligur's guards were used to their master being odd, tyrannical and in downright need of both a bath and anger management therapy. They were used to keeping carefully blank expressions on their faces when he and Duke Hastur were engaged in interdepartmental discussions, and never complained about the repairs the palace needed afterwards. They were even used to the occasional instructions to go and find something on earth to make a nice surprise present for Duke Hastur.

They were not used to seeing Dukes of Hell on their hands and knees on the floor,¹ rolling carefully materialized balls of only the softest wool for a small, wobbly kitten to chase after. The sight of Ligur tickling the kitten with what had to be one of his own wing-feathers was even more unexpected.

The captain of Ligur's guard backed carefully out of the room, closing the door behind him with a stealthy brush of one wing. He took a deep and unnecessary breath and crept away, pausing only to eviscerate a cowering minion in an attempt to regain some sort of demonic equilibrium. 

It looked like Duke Hastur's lads would be staying for dinner after all.

 

______________________________________________________________

 

1\. Well, they _were_ , but by general agreement it wasn't ever a topic of conversation in the guardroom.


End file.
